The Phone Call is a song sung in Act-1 of Lucky Stiff. In the song, Vinne, Rita's brother, calls his wife, Mary Alice, to tell her he won't be home.

Lyrics Edit

  • Uh, hello?
  • Mary Alice,
  • Can you hear me?
  • Listen, honey,
  • I'm calling to tell you,
  • There's a problem.
  • Are you sitting?
  • Well, I won't be home for dinner tonight.
  • You know Nicky?
  • Rita's husband?
  • Well, I think he is planning to kill me.
  • Mary Alice,
  • It's not funny,
  • And I won't be home for dinner tonight.
  • Don't hold the meatloaf.
  • Don't toss the salad.
  • Don't talk to strangers,
  • And make up some excuse for mom.
  • Call all my patients.
  • Break my appointments.
  • Please, Mary Alice, just be calm.
  • Are you finished?
  • Are you better?
  • Mary Alice, you're overreacting.
  • Honey bunny, are you crying?
  • It's your birthday,
  • Gee, I'm sorry.
  • Mary Alice, it's only a birthday.
  • So you're forty,
  • I'm in danger,
  • And I can't come home for dinner to...
  • Blow out the candles,
  • Open the presents,
  • Please, Mary Alice...
  • I'm in Europe,
  • In an airport,
  • With no wallet,
  • No cards,
  • And no money.
  • With my sister,
  • Who is crazy,
  • And who's got me in an awful jam.
  • So the answer, Mary Alice,
  • Is I won't be home for dinner.
  • Mary Alice...
  • Mary Alice...
  • Damn!

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